Meet the gorgeous new faces of Afghan democracy

The long-awaited announcement on the future government of Afghanistan was made yesterday in Bonn, with tribal leaders having finally settled on a structure "based mostly on broads".

"For too long, Afghanistan has excluded broads from public life", commented Northern Alliance delegate Mohammad Natiqi as the talks concluded after days of hard-fought negotiotiations. "We have oppressed them, hidden them away, even prevented them from learning. Not any more, though. From now on, broads will be at the very centre of Afghan democracry."

The UN-sponsored talks had run into many obstacles on their way to the formulation of the new broad-based government, including:

-the exact definition of "broad",
-the late attempts of ethnic Pashtuns to include "classy dames" in the new regime,
-bickering over whether or not Jodie Foster counts as a broad

Eventually, said UN spokesman Ahmad Fawzi, "A compromise was reached which, while not meeting everyone's wishlist, is mutually satisfactory to the extent that the projected administration will be comprised of snappy, tough-talking broads such as Bette Davis, Barbara Stanwyck or the like. Those broads can govern, I tell ya".