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Mysterious Arab warns helpful commuter to 'stop eating fatty foods'

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An Irish commuter today spoke of a disturbing encounter with a mysterious Arabic gentlemen which seems to prove that the recent 'hysterical response' (Gene Kerrigan) to every 'scare-story' (Mary Holland) about Anthrax,
poison wind, or 'voodoo snooker-ball-digital-spider attacks' (Fintan O'Toole) was in fact a reasonable and well-judged response to a genuine threat.

Mark Doyle of Shankill, Co. Dublin, spoke of how he was travelling on the DART that afternoon when he noticed a fellow traveller was in distress. "The train had stopped between stations again, and I saw that a mysterious Arab gentlemen in the seat opposite me was struggling to get his briefcase open. Instead of using his hands, he was just repeatedly butting his head against the lock, and he was obviously getting nowhere. I showed him how to open it properly, and he seemed very grateful".

The site of possible future attacks?

But there was more. "We both got off the train at Shankill, and he took me aside in a mysterious fashion. Then he told me in a very hushed voice, "I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but you've been so kind to me. I've had this briefcase for three years and I've never been able to open it. The sandwiches my wife made for me in 1998 have gone off, but that's not the point. I'm going to give you a warning, but you must promise to not tell anyone unless you don't want them to die, in which case it's fine, I'll understand that. Listen: Don't eat so many fatty foods. You'll clog up your arteries and run a greater risk of suffering a fatal heart attack later in life. It's only common sense." Well, of course I was shocked."

Leaping into action, local police issued a warning to people stating that they should only help strangers if they suspected they would receive an
advance warning on terrorist attacks or health-problems in return.




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