Hypochondriacs
"sicker than previously thought"
Apple
admits: iMac not actually a real computer
'Hoor
in Sewer' arrested in Garda sting
Swords
bypass bypass opened
News
in Brief: Deputies argue over takeaway, more woe for Microsoft
Amazing offer from Ryanair
Why
not join Fianna Fail?
Felix
Says
Mystery
Arab warns commuter of possible attack
Bertie
Bribes Self
Oh
shit we totally forgot about the Labour Party
|
|

Apple
has admitted that its hugely successful iMac is not a functioning computer.
According to spokeswoman Niamh Brindley, the iMac is just a prop for ads,
achingly ironic sit-coms, Ikea showrooms and anywhere else where a "computer"
needs to be represented. Tapping
the mouthwateringly beautiful plastic case (model: Indigo) she said "Listen
to that. Hollow as you like. No fancy microprocessors or motherboards
spoiling the aesthetic."
The
groundbreaking design of the iMac saw sales of almost 10 million "units"
worldwide.The
faux-computer is so popular it has spawned a new Hollywood convention
- all representations of computers must appear to be an iMac. "Even Doonesbury
has one on his desk," chuckled Brindley. "And of course, when the Simpsons
go to an Internet cafe - well, I don't need to tell you what "computers"
they used. Yes, just like the fictional "555" phone number everyone dials
in films, the iMac is a completely harmless, fictionalised computer.
Brindley
feels limited sympathy for those who have been fooled by the amazing resemblance
between an iMac and an actual computer. "Sure, at first glance it looks
like it could be some sort of computer. But for God's sake, it doesn't
have a CPU. That's your first giveaway. And have you ever seen a plug
attached to one? No, of course you haven't. And if you think you did,
your mind was just playing tricks on you. That's how good this baby is."
And
Apple's latest runaway success, the iPod? "Magnificent. What is it? Well
the name says it all really. Try to think of it as a little jewelled music
box, because that's what it is. Just open it up - there's a little ballerina
inside that dances to Swan Lake.
|
|