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Vatican confirms authenticity of miraculous moving injuries

Brazilian soccer legend, Rivaldo, is on his way to canonisation after the Catholic Church confirmed that his moving injuries were real. The footballing deity got Turkish player, Hakan Unsal, sent off in the final minutes of their Group C clash when a ball struck him on the leg. This wound is said to have hurt Rivaldo "deeply and spiritually". However, onlookers were said to be amazed when the injury miraculously moved to his head and he fell over in paroxysms of heavenly agony.


"It definitely moved," shouted Brazilian soccer fan Juanita Ferrerrerra before falling down in a holy trance. "Truly this is a miraculous occurrence," Turkish coach, Sunol Gunes, told The Evil Gerald. "We are all amazed and overjoyed in the Turkish team at how this mortal injury could move from one part of Rivaldo's body to another.


A statue is to be built of the newly-canonised Rivaldo beside the statue of Cristo Redentor with outstretched arms in Rio de Janeiro depicting the soccer star simultaneously clutching his leg and his head in a glorious representation of the holiness of Brazilian peil.




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