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Bono monopoly on self-righteousness, world pain smashed

Bono is escorted away by Competition Authority heavies

In an early-morning swoop, the Competition Authority has sensationally smashed U2 singer Bono's monopoly on self-righteousness and world pain. The Authority successfully sought a court order to break the monopoly after receiving several complaints from Bono's competitors, including Michaels Stipe and Jackson and fellow dad rocker Thom Yorke.

The Authority sought to break up the monopoly in order to further widen the market for bleeding-heart rock posturing. A delighted Michael Stipe told reporters he first made complaints when he heard rumours of Bono trademarking the word 'pain'. However, his delight turned to screams of anguish when he learned that the market was to be closed for trading "for the forseeable future", according to one Competition Authority source. "This will give us a chance to find out who really owns what," he added.

World pain is now believed to be the sole property of disenfranchised, unheard of and unrecognised starving people in Third World countries rather than that of non-tax paying billionaires of the West.




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