split on abortion
Dead have their say on the referendum
menu causes referendum chaos
broken under strain of PDs
and You: A message from the County Council
monopoly on world pain smashed
the law could jeopardise peace process" - Sinn Féin
Important Announcement from Dublin Bus
monopoly on self-righteousness, world pain smashed
is escorted away by Competition Authority heavies
an early-morning swoop, the Competition Authority has sensationally smashed
U2 singer Bono's monopoly on self-righteousness and world pain. The Authority
successfully sought a court order to break the monopoly after receiving
several complaints from Bono's competitors, including Michaels Stipe and
Jackson and fellow dad rocker Thom Yorke.
The Authority sought to break up the monopoly in order to further widen
the market for bleeding-heart rock posturing. A delighted Michael Stipe
told reporters he first made complaints when he heard rumours of Bono
trademarking the word 'pain'. However, his delight turned to screams of
anguish when he learned that the market was to be closed for trading "for
the forseeable future", according to one Competition Authority source.
"This will give us a chance to find out who really owns what,"
pain is now believed to be the sole property of disenfranchised, unheard
of and unrecognised starving people in Third World countries rather than
that of non-tax paying billionaires of the West.