Foetuses split on abortion Ireland's Dead have their say on the referendum Take-away menu causes referendum chaos Fence broken under strain of PDs Recycling and You: A message from the County Council Bono monopoly on world pain smashed "Enforcement of the law could jeopardise peace process" - Sinn Féin An Important Announcement from Dublin Bus		What do you think? - the views of the people that matter I’m only 41/2 weeks old so I can’t think yet, but if I could I’d be really pissed off either way. Whether I get born or aborted I still have to leave the womb. I mean, I’ve got a DVD player in here! You don’t believe me? Have a look! My mother is an alcoholic heroin-addicted crack whore who has to sell herself to feed her burgeoning habits. My father will spend three years in prison for the manslaughter of someone who owed him £20. I can’t wait to be born. According to the latest scans my skull is a hollow bowl and I’ll probably live for about two days on life support after I’m born. However, those same scans have shown without a doubt that my twin sister will grow up to be an Olympic showjumping champion. I want her killed. My mammy is so good at her job that she is taking us both for a weekend to Manchester before she goes to that conference in Cannes. I love flying. It gives me the hiccups!

 

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