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Top
20 non-diseases
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Medicine
in crisis -
Irish Medical Council report
These
are the top 20 conditions an IMC survey of Irish doctors found should
be declassified as diseases:
20
Chronic moaning syndrome
19 Not washing
18 Itchy bum
17 Dead leg
16 That thing where the back of your mouth itches
15 Severe fat bastardism
14 Wanking addiction
13 Tendency to receive wedgies at school
12 Bad hair
11 Death
No-one
cares
10
Forgot to plug the kettle in at the wall
9 Having no friends because of your tendency to corner people at parties
and bore them at length based on their polite query about your recent
attack of the itchy bums
8 Parts of the anatomy which are too small/big, short/long, smooth/wrinkly,
dry/gooey
7 Drunk on two shandies disorder
6 Chronic Fatigues Syndrome (the tendency to wear combat-style trousers
even though one is unlikely ever to join the army)
5 Too-important-to answer-the-phone-even-though-you-are-the-nearest-to-it-osis
4 Severe not letting go of someone's hand for five minutes when greeting
them condition
3 Doctor's stopped taking my callsitis
2Tendency of family pet to eat homework/project/essay/maths book
And at number 1 on the list of diseases that Irish doctors voted should
be struck off the list of ailments was every parent's nightmare - Ugly
Baby Syndrome.
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