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Limerick now 26% less ladylike - study

- Popular science disproves popular Limerick, You're a Lady ditty

We take a sneak peek at the figures the forthcoming census will reveal about the city of Limerick:

* Women engaged in catfights - up 12%
* Women now drinking out of pint glasses instead of dainty halves - up 36%
* Females wearing trousers on a regular basis - up 46%
* Women willing to glass or stab female competitors for prime Limerick males - up 92%
* Female students engaged in a technical course of study at a university or third level institution - up 23%
* Girls who giggle and wilt uncontrollably when asked to dance by their cousin's friend - down 39%
* Women whose main occupation isn't the rearing of greyhounds for export to Spain - down 45%
* Young females with short dyed red hair and hysterically shrill annoying voices in hysterically unimaginative shrill annoying rock bands - up 45%


Shocking: data

Analysed by the Evil Gerald supercomputer (with a whopping 386 MHz of processing power and the ability to run Microsoft Excel!) these figures lead to the shocking conclusion that Limerick is no longer a Lady, but in fact Limerick woman is a strong, modern, liberated, dynamic, economically independent manifestation of modern, strong, liberated, dynamic, economically independent woman in the 21st century, but not even Dolores O'Riordan would be able to sing that load of rubbish.

 
 

 

 

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