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Fine Gael may not get any votes at all, claims FF

In the increasingly short run-up to the soon-to-be-announced-then-contested general election, media reports are increasingly focusing on what media reports are describing as the "meltdown" and "statspocalypse" in support for Fine Gael. This morning's Independent contains the most dramatic prediction yet: that the troubled Noonanites may not garner any votes at all in the forthcoming election.

The claim is based on what Fianna Fáil's Seamus Brennan said to a journalist in a pub. "Support for Fine Gael is plummeting in every constituency," reads the report, continuing, "and already there are signs that in some areas the party's vote may be zero or even enter negative figures".

For example, it is believed that Gay Mitchell now spends much time reading the manifestos of his constituency opponents and nodding approvingly - a sure signal that he is on the verge of withdrawing support for himself. The one man who could be considered certain to cast a vote for Fine Gael - party leader Michael Noonan - is barred from voting because he never registered, having been told by advisers that his enemies in the Dáil would pounce on such an act as a sign of weakness.

Fianna Fáil insiders agreed that this is only gas and that any vote cast for Fine Gael would be wasted unless lots of other people voted the same way.




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