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A Passenger Announcement from Iarnrod Eireann

E-Voting is in!


E-Voting is in!

The Electron 5000™

E-voting systems are to be used for the first time in an Irish election in three constituencies this time around. The system is simple, a voter simply presses the simple buttons beside their candidates of choice to make their vote.

"It will surely be a time and ecology saving device" say the people across Meath, Dublin West and Dublin North. Yet, this isn't the reason for putting the system into place. Department sources revealed that the system is being used to keep the electorate docile.

"Yeah, the machines don't take any votes. Sure, you press a few buttons, and numbers appear, but nothing actually happens" says an un-named Department source, "Then we made it so the lights flash green a couple of times, and it beeps."

Said one Dublin West voter, Ian Doyle, after testing the machine at a public viewing: it "is very nice. It's a nice machine. I like the machine."

The Department admitted that the "computer" was a fake. "We just couldn't be arsed counting votes, and putting a proper computer together. It would have been too much hassle. Besides, it doesn't matter."




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