Also in this issue:

Shaggy advises Bev: "Say it wasn't you"

D-commerce boom attracts thousands

Men await new skincare products, mental anguish

Dalai Lama 'kicks ass'

Socialist worker party closes down world bank

Fianna Fail passes that bill

I'm not a person, I'm a top creative

Vigilante sheep groups on rampage throughout land

News in brief - Ronan's new body; Statistics questioned by statistics; S Drugs 7 slammed; Murderous rage ebbs


Here at Gabulate (or 'Gabulate dot eye ee' - depending on which side of the cyber-fence you're on!), I'm not treated like a person. I'm taken for what I really am - a top young creative.

Here at Gabulate, the first thing you'll notice is that each and every Gabulate creative has its own individually personalised or created e-mail account. If you can believe that, you're half-way to understanding how we're "Right-Sizing the Universe, Together".

That's our new key speech phrase, picking up where last year's "Communicate the World Smallness" left off.
Ever since I left Mountjoy Square last week with my typing diploma stuffed down the side pocket of my combats, I've been convinced of the importance of real, global communication and its attendant solutions.

Just this morning I communicated in a dialogue with another creative, the aim or end-hope(©) being to find out when it was going to chuck its rancid milk out of the fucking staff fridge.

I know what you're thinking, but yes, cursing is permitted at Gabulate, as long as we are seated at our work ports. And after all, no taboos = optimum creativity. Even Tom and Jerry ties are allowed, although one time a co-envisioner went too far and turned up to work with Ren & Stimpy cuff-links. That's not creative, that's crazy! He damaged the team, and had to be punished.

But we don't try to dwell on the unpleasant or disturbing aspects of life here. You see, there's still a little human in all of us at Gabulate. Just don't admit that in front of management.



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