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G8 leaders go on violent rampage at Creamfields

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Last night the peaceful countryside around Winchester, Hampshire were transformed into the setting for an orgy of senseless violence, as drunken and foul-mouthed leaders of the G8 group of industrialised nations ruined a rave for everyone else by going on a thuggish rampage. Although police say they were ready for trouble, nobody was prepared for the scale of the riots that shook the previously good-humoured and uneventful 'Creamfields' event at six o'clock yesterday evening. Witnesses say that the heads of state, lead by French President Jacques Chirac, initially began to cause trouble in the car park, shunting other cars and shouting abusive language at children. Then the trouble spread to the area around the main stage, where the group (clad in suits and gas-masks) began to hurl missiles at security men while chanting weird slogans about investment.

Riot police then engaged the mob, who split up and ran through fields to escape, only to re-appear near the t-shirt stand throwing small stones. Eventually a squad of two hundred be-shielded police managed to corrall the eight men into a corner of the Deep House tent and subdue them with duvets.

The disturbance represents the second time G8 leaders have disrupted a dance event - in 1997 the main stage at Glastonbury was burned to the ground by cavorting premiers (below) - but since that was thought to be an isolated incident yesterday's events have taken the authorities by surprise.

Event organisers were swift in their condemnation. Spokesman Jamie Barlton told the press that the rioters were "a mindless minority who do not represent the musical views of the vast majority of people who come to Creamfields for a nice peaceful time dancing and getting off their heads. In fact, I don't think these people even have musical opinions. They're more of a travelling neo-liberalist circus that enjoy spoiling things for everyone else. All they're doing is making it more difficult for events like this to be staged. Soon it won't be possible to have an enormous rave without busloads of boozy Western government officials turning up just to wreck it".




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