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in this issue New variant CJH disease discovered Make the cool choices with our special feature 'Smokes' actually cigarettes, say scientists Taliban Ministry of Tourism and Culture to close Foot n Mouth decimates tourism and boredom thresholds Corrs accidentally release new album News in Brief: Bono, Elvis Costello, Highlighters, Lack of Rioting, striking students, etc. Dot.com billionaire offers to buy the world a coke |
Galway Arts Wiped
In a surprising but long overdue move, the Arts Council has denied Macnas any further funding in the latest round of negotiations. The denial will effectively wipe Galway from the Irish arts scene. The Macnas players will receive a condolence cheque for fifty pounds to enable them to have their props legally destroyed. Arts
Council director, Patricia Quinn, explained her decision with the following
announcement: When faced with a petition of over 29 signatures - some of them in Celtic script - from Galway residents strongly opposed to the decision, Quinn said simply, "I'm very sorry if you feel that way, Galway. But enough is enough". She continued, "The streets of our rural towns will from now on be that little bit less 'cultured', and frankly it's just the shot in the arm they need. No more will artists, poets and freelance jewellery-designers make living in Galway a sickening nightmare of performance art, paddywhackery and misty-eyed Celtism. There will be a whole lot less 'magic in the air and mischief on the streets', thanks to my brave decision". Support
for the move came from almost everybody in the country, with one resident
commenting that it was "bad enough that we have a higher proportion
of pretentious wankers than any other EU country. But when some of them
start making grotesque, oversized head masks for the others, it is time
to call a halt to the proceedings". A
collage of seashells is to be left outside the Dail by Macnas as a further
mark of protest. |
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