Mickey Martin now even more wonderful

Minister for Health and Children (ahhh), Micheál Martin last night proved that he is amazing by saving the life of a elderly woman while on a long-haul flight back home from Tokyo.

Mr. Martin, speaking to reporters at Dublin airport and smiling nicely, said that although the experience was traumatic, he "remembered what I learned when I was in the scouts" and "used some of the medical knowledge" that he has picked up over the last few months.

The lady in question, 78 year-old Nuala Nugent, suffered a massive heart attack during the flight. Mr. Martin, tipped by many as a future party leader, was quick to react and managed to create some rudimentary surgical equipment from the onflight cutlery and some coat hangers.

According to witnesses there was panic on the plane, but Mr. Martin managed to calm everybody down by telling jokes and singing "Danny Boy" while carrying out the complex surgery. The fifteen hour operation was successful and Mrs. Nugent, a native of Skibbereen, County Cork was rushed off to a nearby hospital when the plane landed.

Mr. Martin gave a typically modest remark later on saying that he "only did what anybody else would have done in that situation". He also said that it was "back to work" for him and that he would do his "upmost to help my consituents and to 'operate' on any problems in the Health sector".

The last remark also proved that Mr. Martin is very funny.

It has also been reported that Mr. Martin's Ministry may be changed to Minister for Health, Children and All that is Good.

A Fianna Gael spokesperson said that it was "a disgrace" and that "somebody should be held accountable". They failed to say for what though.


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